Sunday, 16 December 2007

I wish to complain

Using one's blog to whine about the inequities of your life, especially when the inequities in question are so minor as the ones facing me, must be considered the amongst worst forms of self-indulgence. However I am going to do so, because I can. Mwhahahaaa! The power is intoxicating.

So today I am absolutely flabbergasted and moreover intimidated by the sheer volume of stuff that needs doing this week. The volume of stuff is only a surprise to me because I'm been putting off doing it for months and have erased it from my concious mind in an monumental programme of procrastination. I mean, if procrastination could make money, or be used to generate energy or some other useful product I'd be a multinational with annual turnover greater than the GDP of most African countries.

So, to summarise the drivel, there is a lot to do, and it's all my own fault. No sympathy expected.

Here are the things I'm now concious of. Feel free to remind me of other things and send me into a screaming panic.

  • Back from two weeks in Bali. So that's a huge pile of washing, drying and ironing, for a start
  • Back from two weeks in Bali. So that's about 700 e-mails to process and umpteen new tasks to add to my work 'to-do list', which is already out of control. Once your 'to-do list' is longer than a side of A4 paper you are utterly, utterly fucked beyond redemption. I fear I have now reached this stage.
  • The house needs cleaning. This, at least, I can share with Kate and Win*
  • Christmas cards. Bugger.
  • Christmas shopping. Double bugger.
  • New Year. No one has arranged anything. Why do I have to be the ideas man?
  • Fixing the liquidiser
  • Finding a bus to take guests from the wedding to the reception
  • Thinking about food for the wedding
  • Designing, proofing, printing, addressing and posting wedding invites
  • Booking a honeymoon
  • Write/e-mail/facebook/phone about 100 people to remind them that I still consider them to be friends and by the way, what have you been up to in the last six weeks/months/years?
  • Work out what the hell I'm spending all my money on, and stop it
  • Fill in a claim form for two weeks worth of expenses and a second claim for for a month's worth of overtime in a convincing a manner as possible
  • Unpack the suitcase and find a proper place to store all the random stuff like a deck of cards, a money-belt, a hotel sewing-kit, mosquito repellent, travel plugs etc.
  • Box and distribute 11 Swedish Kronë (don't ask)
I think the most important thing to do at this point is surf the internet for 5 hours.

* I can't recall if I explained the domestic situation. I moved in with Win in a spacious flat with squeaky flooring and a splendid view** over the Thames, about two years ago. Win was kind enough to allow Kate to come and share this wonderful place with us in July 2006 and since then we have all been avoiding doing the hoovering.

** This view is slowly being replaced with a less splendid view of a new block of flats. There will, so long as the Battersea Helipad remains functioning, be a bit of Thames still on view.


julietk said...

Don't do Xmas cards.

Then "lose" the to-do list. Anything important enough will return of its own accord.

Cannot help with the rest...

Kate said...

Excuse me, reality calling. We may not have hoovered the flat while you were away but I did wash and iron an awful lot of your shirts not to mention various other logistical bobbins such as organising christmas...