Wednesday, 29 January 2020

Trade remedies

Given the current complexities of the international situation I've been studying rules of origin, the WTO mandate and jurisdiction, and a history of trade from the Phoenicians to the present day. It's all very interesting. For instance, herring fished off the coast of Sidon after 576BC were required to carry a PF (Phoenician fisheries) badge and go through Customs checks in Sardinia if they were to be traded West of Rhodes. From this humble beginning comes the phrase "Beware of pre-Greeks bearing fish", which survives in many of the Viking established settlements of North-East England, and around the coast of the Ireland of Ireland,to this day.

Archaeological evidence is scarce, but it's clear that lack of a properly functioning WTO appellate court in 1200 (due to a dispute over the number of Swedish vs. Danish Judges, and also a funding crisis brought about by the collapse in the price of olives) was ultimate responsible for the collapse of the Norse settlement in Greenland. Unable to trade Narwhal skulls the colonists were forced to emigrate to Glasgow and open fish n chip shops, using potatoes smuggled by Erik the Red from North America. The Portuguese and Italians dispute this claim, of course, but they never stop banging on about Christopher Columbus and 1942.

Where does this all lead us? Well, it’s pretty clear to those of us who’ve been watching the multiple integrated hierarchies of BiteCoins, politics, media, communications, olive oil as a currency, politics, identify vis-à-vis a means of being, popular music and contemporary project management cultures that something is going on. My theory, which is worth about as much as anyone else’s, is that it’s all very complex and we should probably stock up on dried goods, lamp-oil and jigsaw puzzles (other analogue entertainment systems, such as Snakes and Ladders, are available to while away the long nights as civilisation collapses outside). A well fortified stockade could come in handy, if you have one to hand.

That’s not to say the end if nigh. From the rubble of the collapse of the implosion of the downfall of modern culture new forms will emerge. We’re already seeing that with the return of Crackerjack to kids TV.

I have to go and sing now, so I’ll leave you with this. What are you doing? No, seriously, what on earth are you doing? Put it down! This instant!!

Thank you.