Your good fortune

It's a good thing I'm not on Twitter. I have lots of inane thoughts which fit inside 140 characters. Things the internet is spared include

• The fact that I cut through 9 spears of asparagus with a single stroke
• My guts hurt. I think it's something I ate. Should I have dinner or just go to bed?
• My head is full. I'm too old to listen to new music. There's enough in there already. I'm replete.
• Jonathan's fever broke at 3.59am this morning. At 4.00pm he jumped on my head.
• I like Rose's café on Hoxton St, but they should have sought out a proofreader before printing their menus. I'm unsure about Monty's Deli.
• I'm 41. I've only just found out what an 'Oxford' shoe is, and what a brogue is. (One can have Oxford brogues, though this represents a corruption of our ideals)
• (That last one is 161 characters, which means I would have split it, which is worse)

Pointless. Bah.