I know there's been a lot of concern, some of it achingly heartfelt, about the state of my arm. So I just want to reassure everyone that, after two weeks of using the Microsoft 'Sticky Keys' function (which isn't what I originally thought it was, thankfully) I now have 1.5 working arms, and can type two handed.
I can't yet extend my elbow properly. My boss suggested I try throwing it into the air and I pointed out he was making what looked a lot like a Nazi salute in the office. So he stopped.
What have I learned from two weeks in plaster, riding the Tube during the day, and necking codeine at night? I've learned that Microsoft Speech Recognition software is really, really shit.
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